Have you ever found yourself in the same frustrating situation over and over, wondering why life keeps dealing you the same hand? Maybe it’s the job that always leaves you drained, the relationship that feels too familiar in all the wrong ways, or the nagging feeling that you’re stuck in a loop.
What if it’s not just bad luck? What if life is trying to teach you something—and it will keep repeating the lesson until you get it?
We don’t always realise we’re caught in a pattern until something clicks. Maybe it’s this post. Maybe it’s that moment when you think, Wait… I’ve been here before.
The truth is, life has a way of nudging us—sometimes gently, sometimes like a sledgehammer—until we wake up to what needs to change. And once we see it, we can’t unsee it.
So if this hits home, take a deep breath and ask yourself:
- What keeps repeating in my life?
- What is this trying to teach me?
- What would happen if I did something different this time?
Because once you learn the lesson, the pattern doesn’t need to repeat. And that’s where real change begins.
The Power of Patterns in Our Lives
Life is a masterful teacher. It doesn’t lecture us with words but through experience. When we don’t grasp a lesson the first time, it circles back, presenting itself in a new way – sometimes more intense, sometimes more obvious – until we’re ready to pay attention.
Think about the patterns in your life. Have you noticed a cycle of similar relationships, jobs, or emotional struggles? These repetitions are life’s way of saying, There’s something here you need to see. Until we acknowledge and process the underlying lesson, the same circumstances will keep showing up, often in different disguises.
The key to breaking free from these patterns lies in awareness. When we shift our perspective from Why does this keep happening to me? to What is this trying to teach me?, we move from victimhood to empowerment. This shift allows us to reclaim our power and consciously create change, rather than unconsciously repeating the same experiences.
Recognising the pattern is the first step. The next is exploring the beliefs, fears, or unresolved emotions that keep it in place. Are you holding onto an old story that no longer serves you? Are you unconsciously drawn to situations that validate a core wound? The more deeply we examine these questions, the closer we get to breaking free.
A useful way to gain insight is through mindfulness and self-inquiry. Meditation, journaling, and therapy can be powerful tools for uncovering these subconscious narratives. When you start paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and triggers, you begin to connect the dots between past experiences and present challenges. This awareness opens the door to lasting change.
Recognising Repeating Patterns
If you’re not sure whether you’re caught in a cycle, here are a few signs:
- Similar problems appear in different areas of your life. Maybe you keep having the same conflict in relationships, or every job you take ends up feeling just as toxic as the last.
. - You feel stuck, no matter what you do. You try different strategies—maybe a new partner, a new city, a new job—but somehow, the same feelings of frustration, disappointment, or burnout return.
. - You experience a strong emotional charge around a situation. If a certain issue keeps triggering anger, sadness, or resentment, it may be a sign that there’s a deeper lesson you haven’t integrated yet.
. - You attract the same types of people or experiences. You might notice that the same kinds of relationships or challenges show up again and again, making you wonder why you keep “choosing wrong.”
. - You repeatedly share and relive past events online. Posting about past struggles, using humor to mask frustration, or sharing “Oh wow, me” memes each year that highlight the same difficulties can be a sign of an unresolved cycle. Social media can reinforce patterns when we continuously remind ourselves and others of past experiences, keeping us emotionally tied to them instead of moving forward.
If any of these resonate, it’s time to look deeper. Recognising these patterns requires honest self-reflection. It’s easy to blame external circumstances, but the real work happens when we turn inward. Start by looking at your past experiences. Write down recurring themes, emotional reactions, and outcomes. Patterns often emerge when we take the time to observe them.
Once you identify the cycle, the next step is to explore why it exists. What beliefs or fears keep you in this loop? Are there subconscious narratives you’re still playing out? The deeper you go, the clearer the lesson becomes.
Breaking the Cycle: Practical Steps
Recognising a pattern is just the first step. Here’s how you can begin to shift it:
- Pause and Reflect
The first step to breaking any cycle is awareness. Journal about your past experiences. Look for common themes. What keeps showing up? What emotions are tied to these experiences? Writing things down often brings hidden patterns to the surface and provides clarity.
. - Take Responsibility (Without Blame)
This isn’t about self-judgment. It’s about empowerment. Instead of saying, Why does this always happen to me?, reframe it to How am I contributing to this pattern? It may be through beliefs, behaviours, or emotional states that attract similar situations. Accepting that you play a role in the cycle allows you to take back control and shift the pattern.
. - Identify Your Triggers and Core Beliefs
Pay close attention to what sparks emotional reactions. Are there specific people, situations, or words that bring up old wounds? Often, repeating patterns are linked to core beliefs formed in childhood or past experiences. Ask yourself: What belief is this reinforcing? Is this belief still true for me? Challenging and reshaping these narratives is key to transformation.
. - Shift Your Energy
If you’re operating from a state of fear, resentment, or shame, practice shifting upwards on the Hawkins scale. Meditation, breathwork, gratitude, and even small acts of kindness can help raise your vibration and open you up to new experiences. Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation can also shift your energy and help break repetitive cycles.
. - Choose Differently
Once you see the pattern, you have a choice. If you always say yes when you want to say no, practice setting a boundary. If you always react in anger, try responding with curiosity. If you avoid uncomfortable conversations, try leaning in with openness. Even a small shift in how you respond to situations can create a ripple effect and change outcomes.
. - Visualisation and Affirmations
Use positive affirmations and visualisation techniques to reinforce new behaviours. Picture yourself responding differently to familiar situations. Imagine the outcomes you desire, and speak affirmations that align with this new reality. Over time, these practices can rewire your brain and make new behaviours feel more natural.
. - Seek Support and Accountability
Sometimes, patterns are deeply ingrained, and it helps to have outside support. Whether it’s through therapy, coaching, or supportive friends and family, having someone to hold you accountable can make a huge difference. External perspectives often highlight blind spots and offer encouragement when the process feels challenging.
. - Celebrate Small Wins
Breaking patterns is a journey, not an overnight process. Acknowledge and celebrate every small step you take toward change. This positive reinforcement builds momentum and keeps you motivated to continue evolving.
Like Attracts Like
Dr. David Hawkins’ Scale of Consciousness offers a powerful framework for understanding why we get stuck in patterns—and how we can shift out of them. Hawkins, a psychiatrist and spiritual teacher, developed a scale ranging from 0 to 1000, where different emotional states vibrate at different frequencies. Lower vibrational states tend to keep us trapped in cycles, while higher states allow us to break free and experience transformation.
Here’s a simplified breakdown:
Low Frequency States (Guilt, Shame, Fear, Anger)
When we operate in these states, we tend to attract experiences that reinforce them. For example, if you carry guilt, you may subconsciously seek out situations where you feel like you have to prove yourself or seek punishment. If you hold onto fear, you may find yourself in repeated cycles of anxiety and avoidance.
Mid-Level States (Courage, Neutrality, Willingness)
Moving into these states marks the beginning of change. Courage allows us to face our patterns instead of running from them. Neutrality lets us detach from old stories. Willingness means we’re open to learning and shifting.
High Frequency States (Love, Joy, Peace, Enlightenment)
At these levels, we experience life with flow, trust, and ease. We no longer need to “learn the hard way” because we are aligned with our highest wisdom.
Shifting to a higher vibrational state requires consistent effort. It involves letting go of old wounds, adopting empowering beliefs, and choosing daily habits that support personal growth. It’s about intentionally raising your emotional energy by surrounding yourself with positivity and reinforcing self-worth through action.
To maintain higher vibrational states, it’s essential to develop daily habits that reinforce positive emotions. Practicing self-care, surrounding yourself with uplifting influences, and consciously choosing gratitude are all ways to shift into a higher state and maintain it. The more often you operate from higher energy, the less likely you are to fall into old repeating cycles.
The Power of Choice
Imagine looking back a year from now and realising you’ve finally broken free from a pattern that held you back for years. That the job, relationship, or belief that once drained you no longer has power over you. That you’ve shifted from feeling stuck to feeling empowered.
This is possible. But it starts with recognising that the lesson will keep repeating—until you choose to learn it.
So, if this resonates, take a moment to reflect. What’s the lesson life has been trying to teach you? And what’s one small step you can take today to break the cycle?
Because once you do, everything changes.
Take ownership of your growth. The power is always within you to shift, change, and evolve. Every moment presents an opportunity to choose differently. The next time you find yourself in a familiar cycle, pause and ask, What is this moment inviting me to learn? The answer may be the key to your transformation.
Ready to Make a Shift?
If you’re recognising patterns in your life and want support in breaking them, let’s connect. Whether through coaching, somatic therapy, or deep reflective work, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Drop a comment or reach out – I’d love to hear what clicked for you today.
Additional Resources:
Books to Dive Deeper: Consider reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza, and The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer for further exploration into breaking patterns and living consciously.
Guided Meditations: Use apps like Insight Timer, Headspace or YouTube to find meditations that support releasing old patterns and cultivating mindfulness.
Journaling Prompts: Regularly ask yourself questions like, What patterns am I noticing in my life?, How do these patterns make me feel?, and What can I do differently next time? Journaling can be a transformative tool for self-discovery.