Understanding High Functioning Dependency

High-functioning dependency refers to a situation where an individual relies heavily on a substance, behaviour, or person, but is able to maintain a relatively normal level of functioning in their personal and professional lives.

It is characterised by the ability to appear functional and successful while still being dependent on the object of their dependence.

This type of dependency can be difficult to spot because the person affected may not show any obvious signs of distress.

 

The Impact of High-Functioning Dependence on Mental Health

While they may maintain a high level of productivity and meet their responsibilities, this type of dependence can have significant implications for mental health.

Here are some key points to consider:

1. Masking underlying issues:
High-functioning dependence often serves as a way to mask underlying mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or trauma. By relying on certain behaviours or substances, individuals may temporarily alleviate their emotional pain or distress, but these issues remain unresolved and can worsen over time

2. Limited insight and denial:
The ability to maintain a high level of functioning can lead individuals to deny or minimise the impact of their dependence on their mental health. They may believe that because they are able to meet their obligations, their dependence is not problematic. This denial can prevent them from seeking help or addressing the underlying issues contributing to their dependence.

3. Escalation of dependence:
Over time, high-functioning dependence can escalate and become more severe. As the individual’s tolerance to the behaviour or substance increases, they may require greater amounts or more frequent engagement to achieve the desired effect. This can lead to a vicious cycle of dependence, further exacerbating mental health issues.

4. Interference with relationships and emotions:
High-functioning dependence can strain relationships and hinder emotional intimacy. The individual may become preoccupied with maintaining their dependence, leading to neglect of personal connections and an emotional disconnect from others. This can contribute to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and dissatisfaction.

5. Increased risk of co-occurring disorders:
Individuals with high-functioning dependence are at a higher risk of developing co-occurring mental health disorders. Substance abuse, for example, can lead to or worsen conditions such as anxiety disorders, mood disorders, or personality disorders. The presence of multiple disorders can complicate treatment and recovery.

6. Long-term consequences:
If left unaddressed, high-functioning dependence can have long-term consequences for mental health. Chronic stress, deteriorating coping mechanisms, and the neglect of emotional needs can lead to the development or worsening of mental health disorders. It is important to recognise the signs and seek professional help to prevent further deterioration.

High-functioning dependence may allow individuals to maintain a façade of normalcy, but it can have significant implications for mental health. It is crucial to acknowledge and address the underlying issues contributing to the dependence in order to promote well-being and prevent long-term harm.

 

How to Overcome High Functioning Dependency

High functioning dependency can lead to unhealthy relationships and a lack of independence. It is important to understand the causes of this type of dependence and how to break free from it.

The first step in overcoming high functioning dependency is recognising the signs and patterns that indicate its presence.

These can include:

  • relying on others for decisions;
  • feeling anxious or guilty when not able to meet someone’s expectations;
  • having difficulty making decisions independently; or
  • feeling overly responsible for other people’s feelings and behaviours.

Once these signs are identified, it is important to develop strategies for managing them.

This could include finding ways to increase self-confidence and self-esteem, developing better communication skills with others, setting boundaries with those around you, learning how to say ‘no’ without guilt or fear of rejection, and engaging in activities that promote self-care such as yoga or meditation. With time and effort put into breaking unhealthy dependencies, individuals can learn.

 

The Benefits of Low Dependence & Self-Sufficiency

Low dependence and self-sufficiency can bring numerous benefits to individuals. Here are some of the key advantages:

1. Personal Empowerment:
By relying less on external sources and becoming self-sufficient, individuals gain a sense of empowerment and independence. They develop essential skills, knowledge, and resources, enabling them to meet their needs and goals without relying heavily on others. This self-reliance fosters a sense of confidence and autonomy.

2. Financial Stability:
Dependence on others often comes with financial costs. By being self-sufficient, individuals can reduce their expenses and financial burdens.  Financial stability provides individuals with greater control over their lives and enhances their overall well-being.

3. Resilience:
Self-sufficiency enhances resilience, particularly in times of crises or emergencies. When individuals possess the skills and resources needed to meet their basic needs, they can better navigate challenging situations. This could include natural disasters, economic downturns, or disruptions in their daily life. Self-sufficient individuals are better equipped to adapt and overcome such obstacles.

4. Increased Autonomy:
Low dependence and self-sufficiency offer greater autonomy in decision-making and lifestyle choices. Individuals are not restricted by the availability or constraints imposed by external sources. They have the freedom to pursue their interests, values, and aspirations in a way that aligns with their needs and preferences. This autonomy promotes personal fulfillment and a sense of purpose.

5.     Reducing Inequality:
Dependence on external entities can perpetuate inequalities, as those with limited access to resources often find themselves at a disadvantage. Self-sufficiency provides individuals with an opportunity to bridge these gaps and reduce inequalities by gaining control over their own well-being. It enables individuals to overcome socioeconomic barriers and achieve a higher quality of life.

While achieving complete self-sufficiency may be challenging or impractical in some areas of life, adopting a mindset of reducing dependence and cultivating self-reliance can still yield significant benefits. It is important to strike a balance between self-sufficiency and collaboration with others to create a sustainable and interconnected society.

 

5 Strategies to Help You Build Independence & Self-Reliance

1. Set clear goals and priorities:
Begin by identifying your long-term goals and the areas in which you want to develop more independence and self-reliance. Break down these goals into smaller, manageable steps that you can work on gradually. Prioritize these steps based on their importance and relevance to your overall growth.

2. Develop new skills:
Building independence and self-reliance often involves acquiring new skills that enable you to handle various aspects of your life independently. Assess the specific skills you need to develop, whether they are practical, emotional, or cognitive. Seek out opportunities to learn and practice these skills through courses, workshops, self-study, or mentorship.

3. Expand your support network:
While the goal is to become more self-reliant, it’s essential to have a support network that encourages and empowers you. Surround yourself with individuals who believe in your ability to be independent and offer encouragement and guidance when needed. Join communities or groups aligned with your interests or goals to connect with like-minded individuals who can provide support and inspiration.

4. Gradual exposure to independence:
Start by gradually exposing yourself to situations that require more independence and self-reliance. Begin with smaller tasks or responsibilities and gradually increase the complexity and scope over time. This approach allows you to build confidence and competence at a comfortable pace while minimizing the risk of feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.

5. Embrace self-reflection and self-assessment:
Regularly reflect on your progress, strengths, and areas for improvement. Evaluate your level of independence and self-reliance objectively and identify any patterns or habits that hinder your growth. Use this self-awareness to make adjustments, set new goals, and refine your strategies for building independence. Celebrate your successes along the way and learn from setbacks or challenges encountered during the process.

Remember, building independence and self-reliance is a gradual and ongoing process. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small victories, and seek support when needed.

 

Kate McCarthy
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Kate McCarthy

I work with men and women 40+ who present an ‘I’ve got it together’ persona on the outside, yet on the inside they are overwhelmed, stuck or struggling and it is affecting their daily lives.

Through 1:1 online personalised therapeutic processes we navigate physical, mental, and emotional root-causes to start healing from within so they feel whole and empowered to live life and run your business on your own terms.

Counsellor | Somatic Psychotherapist | Life Coach

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